
Purpose: To look beyond the behavior to find the biological or emotional need.
-
The Emotion Behind the Mask: Anger or Yelling is often a mask for Fear (of separation, change) or Sadness/Grief (over the loss of a desire).
-
The Phone and Connection: The tantrum over the phone is not about the device itself; it’s a demand for the adult’s unconditional connection that the screen is stealing.
-
The Sleep Tantrum: A control struggle and Fear of Separation/Loss (of fun, of the day). Requires firm, boring boundaries.
-
Action: Respond to the need driving the emotion (e.g., “you need attention”) rather than the behavior expressing it (e.g., “stop yelling”).
Exercise Files